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Archive for November, 2012

Vaguely Vindictive

This post is in response to “another blog” and while it might be childish, I need to vent:

All your  posts about how wonderful he is do not erase the memories of all the lies, nor does it change the fact you two were plotting behind my back. You broke girl code, accepted sloppy seconds, however you want to term it.

Those posts also do not change my happy memories or history as it truly happened instead of the version you receive. I will always remember choosing that house you now sleep in, meeting the family you now claim as yours, being called “Auntie”- not just my name. Driving across country, through near-tornadoes, ice storms and fog banks. Gaining new friends who would take a bullet for me. Discovering new things I never knew I would like. Riding my bike on the trail you run on. Doing housework as I loved to take care of “my man”. Learning new aspects of a profession I have been in for years. Taking Moxie to the dog park. Discovering what is truly important-which isn’t traveling, tweeting, wine or making myself seem interesting. I was instead becoming tougher, stronger, fiercer.

You are correct in your posts, Montana is a wonderful place. It gets in your blood and when you are truly part of the state, as I was and am, you stay there even after you move away. I hope my ghost in that house and state linger with you.

Through all of the pain, I did learn what I do and do not accept from a relationship. Mostly I learned I deserve so much more than lies, cruelty and less than half of his heart.


Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Mark and I are both dating other people now. His new/old girlfriend (dated her before) has a blog in which she loves to post every. single. detail. about how happy they are and how fabulous their relationship is. I get a feeling that, much like my blog used to be, it’s a front to convince the world that things are better than they really are.

That being said, hey, maybe they will work out this time. More power to her. I’m not wild about the insistence that they are just the greatest couple ever, especially considering the less-than-honorable rekindling of their relationship, but hey if it’s working for them, bless them. All the tweets and posts in the world cannot change the truth or my memories.

An Overdue Update

this is the post I had hoped I would never write. This post is me, tail between my legs, declaring to the world that the man I loved so much, the man I gave up everything I knew for, broke my heart. I will spare you the details, but there was a lot of lying, refusal to get over the past and some emotional abuse. I’m back home, with my family. Leaving Montana was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I made wonderful friends out there and learned so much about myself. I suppose I am thankful for everything now, even the pain, as I have discovered life sets you on the path you’re meant to be on. The reason why things happen isn’t always clear immediately, but I like to think my future is starting to come into focus.