this is the post I had hoped I would never write. This post is me, tail between my legs, declaring to the world that the man I loved so much, the man I gave up everything I knew for, broke my heart. I will spare you the details, but there was a lot of lying, refusal to get over the past and some emotional abuse. I’m back home, with my family. Leaving Montana was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I made wonderful friends out there and learned so much about myself. I suppose I am thankful for everything now, even the pain, as I have discovered life sets you on the path you’re meant to be on. The reason why things happen isn’t always clear immediately, but I like to think my future is starting to come into focus.
Posts tagged ‘move on’
I’ve had time to review my previous post and I’ve decided I want to add a bit more to it. Instead of just editing it, I’m adding this post as a sort of post script or addendum. Trying to keep all the thoughts separate to make sure they’re all included.
So, I was pondering what I had written regarding my previous experiences making me the person I am today. Does that make me grateful for having gone through some truly horrendous things? Yes and no. Yes, because it makes me appreciate the beautiful and simple things. No, because there are things that people should never have to endure.
I’m going to say something that people may be offended by, but hear me out: everyone needs to experience heartache. I don’t know why people think they should be exempt from it. Why do you think you can pass up a fantastic opportunity/person and then not be disappointed when it isn’t still there when you finally get around to realizing you should’ve taken the chance? People like that drive me insane, and they’re usually the whiners and blame everyone but themselves. Yes, there are a few people I am thinking of, but I’m going to be kind and not make any direct references.
I guess what I’m saying is I definitely feel we’ve all got a path we’ve been put on. Whether you want to call it God’s will or Karma, whatever. You can cry in your cereal all you want about oh boo hoo hoo why didn’t I go out with him when I had the chance or you can accept the fact that that particular ship has sailed and you really need to get on with your life. We cling to things too much, we brood, we stew. I’m just as guilty as anyone else. I told Mark once we get to Montana, it’s a new start. The past is the past and it’s being buried in the red clay of Alabama. I’ve been through things good and bad, I’ve survived. I feel I came out a better person.
In summary: your heart will break, people will disappoint you, things will go wrong, let these things go and you will survive.